
The hard part of having your own business and being a mom is that you are literally always working. Bellflower Textiles may not be on the
top sellers list (not yet, anyway - but good god, the top folks on there have 52,000 sales!) but for just over a year and coming up on my 500th sale pretty soon here, I feel like it's successful enough that I can call it a real business. It's paying a portion of our bills, it's profitable, and I'm working really really hard at it.
I mention this only because today, in a fit of decadence, I am officially NOT working while Sofie plays in her room for quiet time. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been able to allow myself this luxury in the last three months. I could pretty much count it on two fingers, including today.
Which is AWESOME - I'm so glad to see the business growing and thriving. But I'm tired, dude. And the other thing that's making me feel like I can take today off and just veg is that ... duh duh DUM...
PRESCHOOL STARTS MONDAY!I'm of two minds about preschool. First, I'm very much feeling bittersweet about the whole thing. My little teeny baby is now a big kid of three who's going to go off on her own for three mornings a week and make new friends, play with her teacher, and have all kinds of new experiences that, for the very first time, don't directly involve me.

Which is wonderful, and especially important I think for an only child like her, and it's going to be fabulous. We've been visiting her school frequently over the last month and her teacher is warm and wonderful, and we just love it there.
But at the same time, it's a real transition point. The last three years of being home with her have been such an amazing time! And now that stage is over and the next stage is beginning and I have to admit, part of me wants to grab her chubby little buddha belly and hug her close and keep her all to myself for a little bit longer.
*sniff*
The other half of my brain, though, sees that for the first time in three years I will now have nine hours of uninterrupted work time, all to myself, on a completely reliable basis, every single week.
The old, pre-mommy me would look at that and say, "
Nine hours? Big freaking deal."
But honestly, the last time I had nine hours of dedicated time to myself was probably September 1st, 2006 -- the day before Sofie was born. I've been building this business on 45 minutes here, 30 minutes there, two hours once in a while when I've had a childcare swap going on, an hour or so a day during naptime, 30 minutes in the evening on the nights when it's Brett's turn to put her to bed, etc. Totally random, grab-it-when-you-have it, work as fast as you can, make the most of each second -- wow. It's fun, but it's totally chaotic.
So today, I'm feeling a little less urgency than usual to go grab and squeeze every second of productivity I can from my afternoon. Because not only is tomorrow the weekend when I can usually count on Brett to give me a couple hours of time to work, next week is the start of my new improved schedule.
And with my new, improved, "I've been a mommy for three years and can now do twenty things in the time it used to take me to do two" mentality, I know those nine hours are going to feel like twenty in terms of how much I can suddenly get done.
So yay! And sigh. But yay! It's a new leaf for us both.