Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Why are these toys boobytrapped??

What IS it with children's toys' packaging? Why is it necessary to lock down each and every children's toy inside its already secure packaging with enough hardware and security to rival Fort Knox?

I recently sat down to pull out the animal train that my sister gave Sofie for Christmas. This is a smallish toy - one engine, two pull cars, and three animals (an elephant, a giraffe, and a monkey) that sit inside them. None of them are small enough to swallow. None have sharp edges. None are likely to explode if prodded.

So why did these three toys require EIGHT long plastic-coated wires to be wound around various pieces of them and then strung through cardboard and then, for extra security, wound againg through little ladder-like pieces of hard plastic?

Why did each individual animal, in addition to being strapped down by its feet, need to be garotted by piano wire stretched tight around its neck? If I were trying to raise a little CIA agent, working on her double-oh status, perhaps this would be instructive, but as it is, it's just annoying.

And then, just to make it truly unbearable, instead of winding all these wires through the same piece of cardboard, let's make the neck wires go into their own little extensions of the cardboard box, so that once you've sawed through the package tape and torn it open to reach the wires, you realize you still have another little mini-box to saw through before you can get to them.

And finally, to top off the experience with the proverbial cherry, let's wrap every access point to all of this wiry goodness in the world's strongest plastic packing tape.

I feel safer already. What's ironic is that all of this packaging crap leaves way more choking hazards around for our kids than the toys themselves possess. I'm already nervously checking the room to make sure that I didn't leave one of the two gazillion twisty ties laying around somewhere she can reach.

Thank you, Fisher Price! As far as I can tell, your pacakaging people are either insane, or hate kids and their parents. Or both.

1 comment:

ar_kay_tee said...

On year I got my nephew a toy truck. It was attached to the packaging with several screws. We actually had to break out a screwdriver to get if off of the hard plastic insert that was attached to the box with those ties you were talking about. Needless to say, my nephew was beside himself by the time we got it unattached from all of the packaging. What is it with those companies?

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